


This Is Usually the Part Where You Start Laughing (No? Ok.)

by Le_kunokimchi



Series: Together We're a 10/10 [7]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Gen, Good Sibling Ben Hargreeves, Good Sibling Klaus Hargreeves, Sibling Bonding, each chapter is a stand alone, they are not funny guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23835991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_kunokimchi/pseuds/Le_kunokimchi
Summary: "That's not how it works; See, I'm supposed to tell a joke and you're supposed to laugh either out of mirth because I'm hilarious or out of pity to make me feel good."
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: Together We're a 10/10 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678948
Comments: 10
Kudos: 139





	1. Quarantine is My Thing

"Ben."  
"No."  
"Bennnn."  
"No."  
"Ben, Benny, Benny boy- my main boyyyy-"  
"Klaus, all I want to do is read in silence. For once in your life, can you just shut up for fifteen-"  
"One, two, three, four, five, six- hey that's you!- seven, eight, nine, ten-"  
The Asian boy groaned in frustration loudly as he shut his book in defeat, leaning back against the headboard with a painful thud. "What? Just what is it exactly that you want?"  
The lankier boy grinned in satisfaction as he crawled up next to his brother and laid his unruly curls on top of his lap. "I'm bored. Tell me a joke."  
Six's nose wrinkled as he clenched his jaw. "You're unbelievable," he hissed, rolling his eyes, "And get off of me! We are supposed to be social distancing!"  
"Social distancing my ass, you were the one who crawled into my bed last night because you were fearing that you died again," Four reminded with a visible scowl.  
Ben's cheeks flushed slightly as he stammered, "S-Shut up, that's different. I was scared and wasn't thinking-"  
"And I'm bored and asking you to think."

The boy sighed; it really was kind of useless to try and argue with him, wasn't it? "You want to hear a joke about coronavirus?"  
"Hell ye-"  
"You probably won't get it."  
There was silence. Seconds ticked by of nothing but crickets as they just stared at each other's expressionless faces. Ben blinked at him, waiting for some kind of reaction.  
Finally, Klaus frowned and said mournfully, "Geez Benny, that was terrible."  
The boy crossed his arms as he mumbled, "Oh fuck off, you put me on the spot."  
"It was so BAT, I kinda wanna laugh out of pity," Four drawled with light dancing in his eyes.  
"No, now that was awful. I'm going back to my book- wait, did we ever stock up on toilet paper?" Ben asked suddenly, looking at his brother in apprehension.  
Klaus snorted in amusement. "Cool your tits, Benny. It's a respiratory disease, not TacoBell."


	2. Straight as a Curly Fry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny isn't funny, he's just plain mean.

Klaus wandered down an empty alleyway, searching for any suspicious-looking people that were willing to supply his next hit. He could feel the cold glare of his dead brother at the back of his head for the last three blocks, but he was trying his best to ignore it. Who wants to be clean on their first day out of rehab anyways?

Four hummed in satisfaction as a cat-like grin slid onto his face; his gaze landed on one of his old dealers at the far corner.

"Klaus, you are truly a pathetic individual," Ben commented as he shook his head, the signature frown of disapproval apparent on his face.  
The medium threw back a grin as he cooed, "Aw thanks."

"I'm serious. It hasn't even been an hour yet."

The man sighed as he spun around to face the ghost, planning to humor him for a moment; only because the one thing Klaus couldn't stand more than the screams of ghosts was his brother retreating back into his hood and not speaking to him for the rest of day. He smirked, challenging, "Quick, peer pressure me into not buying those drugs."  
Six's eyes narrowed as he said, "Don't buy those drugs or you'll turn straight-"  
"I SAID PEER PRESSURE, NOT THREATEN!"

In the end, Klaus never did buy those drugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not an explicit joke, but still humorous:)


	3. Octopussy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prank on Bentacles gone wrong.

"You're not funny, Klaus," Ben had deadpanned, his arms crossed as he stared at the glitter explosion on his bed.

Four frowned, how dare he? His prank was strategically thought out and perfected just for his favorite sibling; he had to wait for Ben to leave his room for a shower before he placed the thin capsule beneath his brother's blanket. Then, when Ben returned, he had plopped down on his bed and it was set off, causing the small Asian boy to yelp and launch himself to the door, his towel falling off in the process, as his bed was dowsed in glitter. Klaus even went as far as to use purple and black glitter like Ursula from The Little Mermaid! What he didn't expect was for Ben to burst into his room in fear, completely naked and unaware of the prank; he quite literally thought he was going to die again from the explosion. But instead of calming his brother down, Klaus had snicked, "Wow Benny, really digging the birthday suit," which caused his brother to look absolutely mortified as he crumbled to the floor in an attempt to hide his shame. The medium had laughed as he chucked a blanket at his bright red companion, pausing to ask, "So I'm guessing you didn't like your surprise?"  
"Klaus... You- YOU FUCKER! WERE YOU TRYING TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME?"  
The taller boy had snorted, "Pussy." He will admit, now, that was a REALLY bad decision on his part.  
Six had instantly exploded, beating him with a shoe as his other hand clung to the blanket wrapped around his waist, "I HATE YOU! YOU ASSHOLE! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE AGAIN! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOUR SCRAWNY JUNKIE ASS-"  
Klaus just laughed between the winces, a particularly hard whack to the back of his head caused him to choke on the noise as he had rushed to cover his face. Then Ben had stormed out, throwing the shoe at him for one last hit before slamming the door behind him. 

Now, an hour later, Klaus stood before a fully dressed and furious Number Six; it took about ten minutes of continuously pleading his name before his stubborn brother even opened the door.  
"Ok, so a glitter bomb prank on your recently undeceased brother wasn't the smartest of ideas," he admitted with his hands raised in surrender, "But in my defense, I didn't expect you to freak out that bad! I'm the one with the 'Nam flashbacks, not you."  
"I-It's not just about the bomb," Ben hissed, his cheeks turning red.  
"Ah, I see, well I also didn't expect you to run down the hall buck-ass nude and barge into my room..."  
Ben buried his face into his hands in humiliation as he mumbled, "F-Five's door was opened."  
"Oh shit," Four wheezed, trying his best to hold in his laughter, "I can feel the second-hand embarrassment."  
"Shut up! This is all your fault! How am I supposed to even look him in the eye?"  
Klaus looked down, biting his lip. "Sorry Benny, maybe he didn't notice. I'll make it up to you, I swear-"  
His brother shook his head dismissively as he turned away from him. "Why do you make my life- no my existence in general- such hell?"  
Four replied instantly, a genuine tone to his voice as his eyes looked at him in regret, "Because I'm a self-absorbed son of a bitch and you're the only one who still tries to put up with my shit."

Six sighed, simmering down as he heard the sincerity in his brother's voice. "We're switching beds tonight."  
"Aw what-" Klaus didn't finish his complaint as Ben shot him the death glare, "Ok, ok. Fine, I yield."  
It was silent for a few moments as the medium watched his brother tidy up his room before he hesitantly asked, "So... we good now?"  
"No."  
"What- Whyyyy? I said sorry!" the boy whined, sliding down to the floor in faux exhaustion.  
"Sorry doesn't fix everything. You gotta work for my acceptance."  
"That sounds pretty kinky Ben, not gonna lie-"  
"And see? This is why you get on everyone's nerves! You don't know when to stop running your mouth and take something seriously," Six snapped, his fists clenching at his sides.  
Klaus blew a raspberry, pretending to brush off the insult. He still looked away in slight hurt afterward though. And Ben still noticed it.  
Feeling a little guilty and not wanting to upset his secretly sensitive brother, Ben mumbled, "I guess it was a little funny..."  
Klaus looked up in surprise, "Huh?"  
"I-I said that it was a little funny," he stammered with a scowl, before giving a small smile, "I mean, Five is probably traumatized now, right?"  
Four smirked as he snorted, "Most definitely. He always did say that he wanted to get to know all of us better and catch up on the years he missed out on, he probably regrets those words now."  
Ben chuckled as he observed his bed again. "You even chose particular colors? Geez, Klaus-" he stopped as he noticed a paper number ten on the bed. "What's the ten for?"  
"How do you make a Benny laugh?"  
"I don't-"  
"Ten-tickles."  
They just stared at each other in silence before Ben looked away and shook his head, muttering a "You're ridiculous."  
Klaus could hear the fondness in his tone though and saw the smile playing his lips. He grinned and replied with a "Love ya too, Bentacles."


	4. Cheesy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego joins the "Klaus Isn't Funny" club.

"Hey, Diego-"  
"Dude, trust me: just ignore him," Ben advised, shooting Two a look that spoke volumes about Klaus's level of annoyance.  
"Aw come on," Four whined, "This is a good one!"  
"No, no it's not. They never are-"

"Deeeeeeee."  
Diego sighed, knowing that it would be better to get it over with quick. "What Klaus?"  
"It's KNIFE to see you."  
"Geez," Ben face-palmed, "That was worse than the last one."  
Klaus frowned and put his hands on his hips defensively. "Nu- uh! It was great, huh Diego?"  
The vigilante shook his head. "I'm with Ben on this one; that was just cheesy."  
"Well it's not my fault you all are laughtose intolerant," he muttered with a glare, retreating back to his room to review better material.


	5. A Laugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben finally cracks; Klaus is happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. I got bigger fish to fry now lol. Thanks for reading my lame dad jokes, it's been a wild ride.

"So... you've finally gotten over your fear of the dark. Good job," Ben said plainly, sitting beside Klaus in the alley with his nose in a book.  
"It's not like I had a choice, I didn't ask for the lampost to go out," Four deadpanned. 

Six didn't sound all that proud, he didn't really sound like he cared either. But the medium was used to his ghost brother's dry humor and cryptic emotions by now.

"True, and you still have your fear of the dead... that would be a more convenient fear to get over, don't you think?"  
"Wow somebody's feeling really special today," Klaus replied with an eye roll, "What crawled up your ass and died? Haha sorry, it was your head I guess."  
Ben just blinked a few times, momentarily caught off guard by the comment. "I'm fine, just tired of seeing panic attacks and then you being too stubborn and prideful to say something to someone who could actually help you. Oh, and the drugs; real tired of the drugs."  
"And what exactly am I supposed to say? Who exactly am I supposed to talk to?" he questioned with an eyebrow raised, "Our other dear siblings who can't even be bothered to answer the phone? Our dear father that caused the trauma in the first place? Our dear monkey butler that just sat there and watched? Our dear robot mother who doesn't even understand how fucked up our childhood was?"

Ben closed the book in frustration and stared at the ground, knowing Klaus was right but also not wanting to encourage the sob-story. "I get it, boo-hoo, your life sucks. But you can still turn it around-"  
"Like a 360?"  
"No, a 180. Why would you want to do a 360? That makes no sense-"  
"Because I'm right back on my bullshit!"  
"Get help and that wouldn't happen!"

"Oh! I got it!" Klaus clapped his hand enthusiastically before his sarcastic grin slipped into a glare, "I'll just walk up to a stranger and say 'Hi! Let's be friends!' We'll shake hands and then they'll introduce themselves and I'll reply with 'I'm Klaus-trophobic, nice to meet you."  
The ghost's eyes met his brother's for a split second before they both started laughing.  
"I never realized your name fits there so well!" Ben snickered out, "The person would be so confused. You'd just be whispering under your breath 'help me' and then bam! End of that new-found friendship!"  
"Could you imagine the look on their face though? It'd be priceless!"

"Yeah," Ben sighed, shaking his head before meeting Klaus's gaze, "What? Why are you staring?"  
"I just..." Four smiled sadly, "I couldn't remember the last time I saw you laugh, is all. It was nice to hear it again..."  
"Oh... I guess it's been a while." Six suddenly felt uncomfortable. Has he laughed since he became a ghost? He can't really think of anything funny that has happened since dying; following your junkie brother through the streets wasn't exactly a comedy show.

"You know what?" Four suddenly said, standing up and stretching.  
"Hm?"  
"Forget the pills today. We got what- Seven bucks? Let's go get some waffles."  
Ben grinned and stood as well. "I like that idea."

"Splendid. Then it's settled. Let's go, brother-o-mine."  
"Right behind ya, idiot-o-mine."


End file.
